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Baby jokes

  

16 Jokes

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Three men were sitting at a bar. The first man said "my wife was reading 'A Tale of Two Cities' and gave birth to twins." "That's funny," the second man said "my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted "Good God, I have to rush home! When I left the house my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
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Cabbage Patch n da house

 

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After a baby was baptized her 5-year-old brother was crying in the backseat of the car. "What's wrong Johnny?" his mother asked. Johnny told her "that man said he hoped the baby would be raised in a good Christian home. But I want her to stay with you guys!"
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What's so great about being a test tube baby?
You get a womb with a view.
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"He was a test tube baby. Rumor has it his dad was a real jerk off."
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What do you use to redecorate a baby's bathroom?
Infantile
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What is the best time to wean a baby from nursing?
When you see teeth marks.
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"He's been hitting the bottle hard for years... He'll turn 2 tomorrow."
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Jessica: Why do you think the baby is just like daddy?
Mary: It's bald, sleepy and uneducated.
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It take many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
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Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every couple hours?!
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He was an ugly baby. His mother didn't have morning sickness until after he was born!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says "that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman is fuming and goes to sit down at the back of the bus. She says to the man next to her "the driver just insulted me!" The man says "you go right up there and tell him off! I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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Hello every body my name is Synder Anderson I just want to share my experience with the world on how Lord Alika help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3 years with 1 kid and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and argued almost e very time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try  reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used his power… Within 4 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional pains he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily and our kid is happy too and we are expecting our second child… and my Husband also got a new job and our lives became much better  web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http  I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news..contact him on lordalikaspelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or +13217666393.  web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http

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