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Boss jokes

  
Requested in Jobs & Business by K OS
edited by MC Hacker

13 Jokes

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"I can't help admiring my boss. If I don't he'll fire me!"
Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
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The boss returned from lunch and called his staff together to listen to some jokes he had just picked up. Everybody laughed loudly except one woman.

Boss: What's the matter? Don't you have a sense of humor?
Woman: I don't have to laugh. I'm leaving Friday!
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If you try to please your boss that's brown-nosing.
If your boss tries to please his boss that's cooperating.
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If you don't do it you're lazy.
If your boss doesn't do it he's just too busy.
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When you do something without being told you're trying to be smart.
When your boss does the same it's called initiative.
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When you take a long time you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time he's being thorough.
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When you don't know what to do walk fast and look worried!
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Why is it that when bosses talk about improving productivity they're never talking about themselves?
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If no one ever disagrees with you you're either very clever or you're the boss!
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You have to be 100% behind your boss. It's the only way to stab him in the back!
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Bosses are like diapers. They're full of shit and all over your ass!
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Boss: Jill, due to the recession, I can no longer afford both you and Jack. I'll have to lay you or Jack off.
Jill: You can jack off all you want but you're not going to lay me!
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Secretary: I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
Boss: You always give me bad news. Tell me some good news for a change!
Secretary: OK. Here's some good news...  You're not sterile.
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