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Chauvinist jokes

  
Requested in Adult & Dirty by Argo
edited by MC Hacker

22 Jokes

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How are women like rocks?
You skip across the flat ones.
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Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut!
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The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-A-Woman
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Why did God give men penises?
So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up!
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How is a woman like a road?
Both have manholes.
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work!
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What is worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told!
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How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!
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What is the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
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What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A deaf, dumb, blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a bar.
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Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that! What the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Because breasts don't have eyes.
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Why do women have vaginas?
So men will talk to them.
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Which one doesn't belong: a refrigerator, a washing machine, a TV or a woman?
The TV because all the others leak when they're fucked!
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How do you know it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look in your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time!
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How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
None. She can do it when she's finished with the dishes!
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Why are hangovers better than women?
Hangovers will go away.
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What is the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?
Albert Einstein's dick
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What is the definition of a menstrual period?
A bloody waste of fucking time
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How are women like clams?
When the red tide comes you don't eat them.
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What do real men do to please their women?
Real men don't care!

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