Fake Parking Tickets
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Clean Blonde jokes

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by Argo
edited by MC Hacker

42 Jokes

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A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns titled:

NAME
AGE
ADDRESS
etc.

Then she completed the column SALARY EXPECTED "Yes."
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Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in the back seat of her car?
In case she locked her keys in her car!
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Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind!
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How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way!
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Why are blondes hurt by other people's words?
People keep hitting them with dictionaries!
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A labrador
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Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
She kept forgetting to close her eyes!
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How do you kill a blonde?
Hand her a gun and tell her its a hair dryer!
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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
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Why do blondes put rulers on their heads?
They want to measure their intelligence.
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Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
Because they always forget the recipe.
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Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?
She didn't know where to buy Left Guard.
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edited by MC Hacker
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Why do blondes use so much shampoo?
The directions say "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
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Why do blondes have more fun?
They're easier to keep amused.
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Blonde: "Excuse me, what time is it?"
Woman: "It's 5:11 pm."
Blonde (looking confused): "It's the weirdest thing. I asked that question 30 times today and every time the person gives me a different answer."
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Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
It makes them feel popular.
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Blonde: I've lost my dog.
Guy: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Blonde: Don't be silly. My dog can't read!
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Blonde: I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza.
Clerk: Would you like it cut in 6 or 12 pieces?
Blonde: 6 please. I could never eat 12 pieces.
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Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
She wanted to stop having grandchildren.
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Why did the blonde get excited after she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
The box said "From 2 - 4 years."
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How did the blonde keep from scalding her hands with hot water?
She felt the water first before putting her hands in.
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What did the blonde say when she got a book for her birthday?
Thanks, but I've already got one.
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Woman: Is your baby a boy or a girl?
Blonde: Of course. What else could it be?!
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Why was the blonde proud of her driving?
She received a note on her windshield saying "Parking Fine."
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Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to makeup her mind.
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Recruiter: If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?
Blonde: The living one!
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Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
It got stuck in a trap, chewed off 3 of its legs and was still stuck.
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How does a blonde lose 5 pounds?
She takes off her makeup.
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How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell her a blonde joke.
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How did the blonde break her leg while raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
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What to a blonde is long and hard?
4th grade!
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Why can't you tell blondes knock knock jokes?
They keep walking off to answer the door!
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Why do blondes wear so much hairspray?
To catch all the things that go over their heads!
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Why do blondes make good astronauts?
They took up space in school.
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Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
You have to hollow the head out.
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What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
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Did you hear about the blonde that hijacked a submarine?
She demanded a million dollars and a parachute!
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Why are blondes only allowed 30 minutes for lunch breaks?
It will take too long to retrain them if they take an hour.
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A robber steals a TV from a store. The blonde clerk runs after him yelling "Wait! You forgot the remote!"
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What do you call 5 blondes on the bottom of a swimming pool?
Air pockets!
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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
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WHAT DID THE BLONDE PASTOR SAY TO SHERMAN?
IM THE MASTER OF PASTERBATION
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