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Clean Jewish jokes

  
Requested in Society & Nature by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

9 Jokes

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A boy comes home from school and tells his mother he just got a part in the school play. "That's great. What part?" his mother asks.

"I play a Jewish husband," the boy told her.

"You go back to school and tell the teacher you want a speaking role!" the mother replied.
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What is the difference between a terrorist and a Jewish mother?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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What is the difference between a Jewish mother and a vulture?
A vulture waits until you're dead before it eats your heart out.
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What is the definition of a Jewish dilemma?
When someone yells "free ham!"
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What did the one-fingered Jewish thief specialize in stealing?
Bagels
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Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
Under the vacuum cleaner
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Ilene: Why did you name your dog Juniper?
Susan: Oh, he bit the rabbi when we got him.
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A Rabbi put an advertisement in the classified section of the Sunday newspaper offering his services. The next day a Jewish grandmother called asking his hours and the Rabbi said "24/6..."
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What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler?

A Rottweiler eventually lets go.
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