Fake Parking Tickets
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Smartass Shirts

Clean jokes

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

33 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
What happens when you throw your clock out the window?
Time flies.
1 like 0 dislike
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out...
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What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?
He exploded!
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1 like 0 dislike
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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1 like 0 dislike
Where does a one-armed man shop?
At a second hand store
1 like 0 dislike
Why did Robin Hood only rob from the rich?
The poor had no money.
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1 like 0 dislike
Why was the garbage sad?
Because it was down in the dumps.
1 like 0 dislike
Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair?
He wanted to rock and roll!
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Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.
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What happened to the guy who fell into a glass grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
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Lawyer: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Coroner: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Why were the little drops of ink crying?
Their mother was in the pen and they didn't know how long her sentence would be.
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Why was the broom late?
It overswept.
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Definition of a bus... A vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
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Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup!"
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Heck was created for those who refuse to believe in Gosh.
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Dancing is like a shower... One wrong turn and you're in hot water!
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How many cats can you put in an empty box?
Just one. After that, the box isn't empty.
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Why shouldn't you tell a joke on top of a frozen lake?
It will crack up.
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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Did you hear about the guy who ran through a screen door?
He strained himself.
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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
The survivors were marooned.
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What is big, green, furry, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table
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What is the saddest part of the day?
Mourning
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Why did the hubcap fall asleep?
Because it was tired.
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What did one toilet say to the other?
"You look a bit flushed!"
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What did the boy say after he learned how to count money?
"It all makes cents now!"
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What breaks when you say it?
Silence!
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What did one penny say to the other?
We make perfect cents.
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What can you serve but never eat?
A volleyball
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What did the Leaning Tower of Pisa say to Big Ben?
"If you've got the time I've got the inclination."
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What is a tornado?
Mother nature doing the twist!
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Why did the 12 watt light bulb drop out of school?
It wasn't very bright.
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