Fake Parking Tickets
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Clean One Line jokes

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

40 Jokes

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Whispering is not a loud hear.
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To be honest, I'm a liar.
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What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
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When you have a bladder infection urine trouble!
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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and then it hit me.
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A plateau is a high form of flattery!
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Never take rocks for granite.
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Why don't people find bone jokes humerus?
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I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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Three can keep a secret... if two are dead.
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After all is said and done usually more is said.
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Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
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edited by MC Hacker
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The word "gullible" is missing from most dictionaries.
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"My hand measures nine inches. Three more and it would have been a foot."
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Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
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A wife asks her husband to go and change their son. Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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"I don't want to join a club that would allow people like me to be members..."
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A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
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Only the young die good...
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Junk: Something you keep for years and then throw out 2 weeks before you need it!
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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"Give me ambiguity or give me something else..."
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Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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"He had a photographic memory but it was never developed."
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Constant change is here to stay.
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A day without sunshine is like night.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge...
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There are 2 kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead!
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Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?
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"I've got to sit down to work out where I stand."
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Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
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If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice you don't really need advice.
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People will believe anything if you whisper it.
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If you can't laugh at yourself at least let me do it.
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When in doubt, mumble.
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I was wondering why the spider was geting bigger, then it bit me!
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what did the sherman say when a pastor licked his nipples?

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