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Computer jokes

  

27 Jokes

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Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
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What was the astronaut doing on the computer?
Looking for the space bar.
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3 types of computer users:

Novice - Afraid they'll break their computer by pressing one key
Intermediate - Don't know how to fix their computer after they press a key that broke it
Expert - Press keys that break other people's computers
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How is a computer like an erection?
It stays up as long as you don't screw with it!
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The 3 most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware guy with a software patch and a user with an idea!
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Why did the computer break down?
It developed a terminal illness!
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What do you get when you cross a CPU with an IUD?
A computer that can't multiply.
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On a clean disk you can seek forever.
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RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
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All the world's an analog stage. Digital circuits play only bit parts.
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The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
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Press Ctrl + Alt + Del to continue.
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"Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue."
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user-friendly.
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What do you get when you cross a laptop with a Jewish-American princess?
A computer that never goes down on you.
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What did one keyboard say to the other?
Sorry, you're not my type.
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What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory
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You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
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Computers: Machines that make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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What do computers do at lunchtime?
They have a byte.
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Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse?
They just seemed to click.
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Smash face on keyboard to continue...
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Failure is not an option! It comes bundled with the software.
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My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
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What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
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What does a proud computer call his little son?
A microchip off the old block
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Why did the computer get sick?
He left his windows open.
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