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13 Jokes

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A man sees a psychiatrist. He tells him "I keep having these alternating dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then teepee, then wigwam. It's driving me crazy! What's wrong with me?" The doctor responds "It's simple; you're two tents."
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"You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!"
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How do crazy people get through the woods?
They take the psycho path.
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Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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One patient in a mental hospital saves another who was trying to kill himself in a bathtub. The hospital director calls the hero into his office.

"Our records indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm just sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around his neck." The patient replied "Don't worry. He didn't kill himself... I hung him up to dry."
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A man explained to his friend "the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone before because I was too afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not."
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It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you!
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"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"
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"I'm not insane, my mother had me tested."
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"I know the voices in my head aren't real but they have some great ideas!"
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Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.
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Did you hear about the guy who started working at that asylum?
The people are crazy about him!
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What steps should you take if a madman comes running at you with a knife?
Big ones!

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