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Diet jokes

  
Requested in Cooking & Food by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker

9 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
Patient: I'm on a diet that's making me very irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off!
Doctor: Ouch, that's a lot of calories!
2 like 0 dislike
Patient: I'm worried about my figure.
Doctor: You'll have to diet.
Patient: OK. Which color?
1 like 0 dislike
My sister went on a crash diet.
Is that why she looks like a wreck?
1 like 0 dislike
Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because you can't eat Jenny Craig when you have Mary Kay on your face!
1 like 0 dislike
"I'm on a 30-day diet. I've lost 15 days so far!"
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
"She's a light eater. When it gets light she starts eating!"
1 like 0 dislike
What do you call a person who abandoned their strict diet?
A desserter
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
My doctor put me on a stable diet: oats and hay 3 times a day.
0 like 0 dislike
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter!
Shared by a contributor

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