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Dirty Animal jokes

  
Requested in Adult & Dirty by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker

14 Jokes

4 like 0 dislike
What's the difference between a bullfrog and a horny toad?
The bullfrog says "ribbit, ribbit." The horny toad says "rub it, rub it."
2 like 0 dislike
What's a shitzu?
A zoo with no animals.
2 like 0 dislike
An elephant says to a camel "why are your tits on your back?" The camel says "I think that's a strange question coming from somebody whose dick is on his face!"
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edited by MC Hacker
2 like 0 dislike
Why do you wrap duct tape around a hamster?
So it doesn't explode when you fuck it.
2 like 0 dislike
What is worse than having a sick cat on your piano?
Having an infected pussy on your organ!
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A penguin driving cross-country breaks down in hot Arizona. He limps his car into town and finds a garage/mechanic. The mechanic says its gonna be an hour to diagnose the problem and suggests an ice cream store down the road where the penguin can stay cool.

The penguin goes to the ice cream store and orders a cup of vanilla ice cream. Penguin doesn't have opposable thumbs and can't hold a spoon, so he uses his flippers to bat as much ice cream into his mouth as he can, but he makes an awful mess on his face.  

After an hour, the penguin goes back to the auto mechanic for the diagnosis. The mechanic says, "it looks like you blew a seal". The penguin says, "NO,NO, that's just ice cream.
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1 like 0 dislike
My girlfriend called me a filthy pervert the other day... I said "fuck me, a talking sheep."
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0 like 0 dislike
What's the difference between a fish and a mountain goat?
One mucks about in fountains, one fucks about in mountains...
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edited by JustMe
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What's the difference between a cow and a bull?
Milk both of them and the one that smiles is the bull.
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Where are an elephant's sex organs?
In his feet. If he steps on you you're fucked!
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What is the best way to eat a frog?
Put its legs behind its ears.
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How many animals can you fit on a toilet?
A pussy and 1,000 hares!
0 like 0 dislike
As I sat on the edge of my bed pulling off my boxers... I thought to myself "you've gotta leave those dogs alone."
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A lady buyer to parrot which is trained some words incl dirty words...As soon as the lady holds the bird she asked what do u say if i bring home a guy and quickly the bird said..Whore! ..OMG i cant buy this bird and the petshop owner took the birdie brought it to the back room and waterboard the poor birdie brought it back and told hes ok now then same she ask birdie answer bf?then she said 2guys?..bf&dad?..3guys?..bf,dad&bro?..4guys? Birdie flyback to the owner & said..I told u shes a whore now waterboard me again
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