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Divorce jokes

  

18 Jokes

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What do you call a woman who has everything you ever wanted?
Your ex-wife
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How many divorced women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and three to form a support group.
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"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car into reverse and did it again!"
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"I divorced my husband over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."
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If you got married when you fell in love does divorce mean you've now climbed out of it?
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How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows?! They never get the house.
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90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife!
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"My friend is engaged in a custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back."
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"I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better."
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Husband: I'm leaving you for another woman.
Wife: What has she got that I don’t have?
Husband: Would you like that alphabetically or in order of importance?
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A man and his wife divorced over religious differences. She worshipped money and he didn't have a penny!
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Mary: Why did you split up with your husband?
Joan: I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole!
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Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
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Amazing testimony of a real and powerful love Spell to get your Ex back fast? After 13 yrs of marriage,a very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband.so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he [visited.Unityspelltemple@gmail.com]. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr.Unity, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at:[ Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ],you can also call or Add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 (Wendy Owen,UK).
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Get your ex lover back before Xmas and new year urgently{ covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}.
 My name is Mary Lane, today has being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love. My husband left the house without saying good bye to me because i accused of him for seeing some one else, he left the house with out 2 kids i was hurt and devastated and really needed him  back though he cheated in me,  i tried all my possible best to make sure to make him come back i tried pleading with his mom {mama lousa} but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain. One day a friend of mine on face book posted a comment on facebook on her she got her husband back when he left her and he droped an email of the man that helped her it was Dr Ewan of covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com, but all thanks to Dr Ewan for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy.  Then i decided not to waste time i contacted him he told me not to worry that my husband will come back to e in the next 24 hours i believed Dr Ewan so much because i believe he can't fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Dr Ewan never failed me,my husband who left me for two months came back to me in the next 19 hours . My husband and i have been living happily with our kids since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much Dr Ewan for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com or check out his website https://covenantsolutiontemple.wordpress.com call him or add him on watsapp +2349057353987. Thank you very much Dr i will appreciate you forever.
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Best Spell Caster Reviwes
I am subbitming this here today to tell everyone one that your dead marriage can be restored with the help of this great man DR. GOODLUCK, I will start by saying to all that have experience heart break and also can't do without their lover should please stop here and read up my story, So as you will know how to go solving or getting your ex back...Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of Dr GOODLUCK that helped me recently to bring back my fiance. My fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him, so for the past three month now i have trying to plead with him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with Dr GOODLUCK, who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he will call me that within 17 hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy, spell is good when you meet Dr GOODLUCK if you need his help contact him at his email goodluck05spellcaster@gmail.com and you can also whatapp him or call with his mobile +2349059610309 and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem OKay...

+2349059610309
goodluck05spellcaster@gmail.com
http://goodluck05spellcaster.yolasite.com
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GET YOUR EX WIFE, EX GIRLFRIEND, EX BOYFRIEND AND SOLVE ALL TYPE OF PROBLEM THROUGH COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. My name is Enoch Davies
.my wife and I got married 6 years ago and we were so much in love with each other, we have 2 kids(josh and rebecca). One day my wife came back home from her friends place and she told me that she wants us to file for a divorce that she's no longer interested in our marriage, i was surprise and everything seem to me like a joke. after then i tried all my best to get her back but there was no way. but to no avail, my heart was broken, i wondered whats happening .i was on facebook when i saw a post on how  Dr Ewan helped a lady to bring back her lost husband. i was scared but because i love my wife so much and I am ready to do anything to bring her back. I decided to give it a try by contacting him via email:covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com, So when i contacted him i narrated everything to him and he said my case is not a serious one that my husband will come back to me within 18 hours if i believe in his power.he told me to do some things to do which i did before 18 hours, my wife called me on phone and was crying for forgiveness. right now we are now a new branded family with more happiness, we are even going on vacation on xmas. please if any one of you out there is passing through same issue in your marriage, relationship issues contact Dr Ewan today or call or add him on whatsapp on +234905735398 or check out his webpage http://allwomenstalk.com/p/58034af4f725a97d108b4569. contact him today on covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com now.
. I will keep on sharing the good news about this. Thanks Dr.
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