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28 Jokes

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What do you call a woman who has everything you ever wanted?
Your ex-wife
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How many divorced women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and three to form a support group.
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"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car into reverse and did it again!"
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"I divorced my husband over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."
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If you got married when you fell in love does divorce mean you've now climbed out of it?
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How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows?! They never get the house.
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90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife!
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"My friend is engaged in a custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back."
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"I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better."
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Husband: I'm leaving you for another woman.
Wife: What has she got that I don’t have?
Husband: Would you like that alphabetically or in order of importance?
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A man and his wife divorced over religious differences. She worshipped money and he didn't have a penny!
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Mary: Why did you split up with your husband?
Joan: I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole!
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Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
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Amazing testimony of a real and powerful love Spell to get your Ex back fast? After 13 yrs of marriage,a very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband.so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he [visited.Unityspelltemple@gmail.com]. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr.Unity, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at:[ Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ],you can also call or Add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 (Wendy Owen,UK).
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Get your ex lover back before Xmas and new year urgently{ covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com}.
 My name is Mary Lane, today has being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love. My husband left the house without saying good bye to me because i accused of him for seeing some one else, he left the house with out 2 kids i was hurt and devastated and really needed him  back though he cheated in me,  i tried all my possible best to make sure to make him come back i tried pleading with his mom {mama lousa} but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain. One day a friend of mine on face book posted a comment on facebook on her she got her husband back when he left her and he droped an email of the man that helped her it was Dr Ewan of covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com, but all thanks to Dr Ewan for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy.  Then i decided not to waste time i contacted him he told me not to worry that my husband will come back to e in the next 24 hours i believed Dr Ewan so much because i believe he can't fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Dr Ewan never failed me,my husband who left me for two months came back to me in the next 19 hours . My husband and i have been living happily with our kids since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much Dr Ewan for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com or check out his website https://covenantsolutiontemple.wordpress.com call him or add him on watsapp +2349057353987. Thank you very much Dr i will appreciate you forever.
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Best Spell Caster Reviwes
I am subbitming this here today to tell everyone one that your dead marriage can be restored with the help of this great man DR. GOODLUCK, I will start by saying to all that have experience heart break and also can't do without their lover should please stop here and read up my story, So as you will know how to go solving or getting your ex back...Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of Dr GOODLUCK that helped me recently to bring back my fiance. My fiance broke up with me last three month because he thought i was cheating on him, so for the past three month now i have trying to plead with him but he still say the same thing that he does not want us to come back again that he can not trust me so i came in contact with Dr GOODLUCK, who told me that my lover is going to come back to me if i work with him so i did what he ask me to do,after that he will call me that within 17 hours that my lover is going to come back to me,can you believe that my lover is back to me ,he now love me more than before i am so happy, spell is good when you meet Dr GOODLUCK if you need his help contact him at his email goodluck05spellcaster@gmail.com and you can also whatapp him or call with his mobile +2349059610309 and i promise that he is going to help you with any problem OKay...

+2349059610309
goodluck05spellcaster@gmail.com
http://goodluck05spellcaster.yolasite.com
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GET YOUR EX WIFE, EX GIRLFRIEND, EX BOYFRIEND AND SOLVE ALL TYPE OF PROBLEM THROUGH COVENANTSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. My name is Enoch Davies
.my wife and I got married 6 years ago and we were so much in love with each other, we have 2 kids(josh and rebecca). One day my wife came back home from her friends place and she told me that she wants us to file for a divorce that she's no longer interested in our marriage, i was surprise and everything seem to me like a joke. after then i tried all my best to get her back but there was no way. but to no avail, my heart was broken, i wondered whats happening .i was on facebook when i saw a post on how  Dr Ewan helped a lady to bring back her lost husband. i was scared but because i love my wife so much and I am ready to do anything to bring her back. I decided to give it a try by contacting him via email:covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com, So when i contacted him i narrated everything to him and he said my case is not a serious one that my husband will come back to me within 18 hours if i believe in his power.he told me to do some things to do which i did before 18 hours, my wife called me on phone and was crying for forgiveness. right now we are now a new branded family with more happiness, we are even going on vacation on xmas. please if any one of you out there is passing through same issue in your marriage, relationship issues contact Dr Ewan today or call or add him on whatsapp on +234905735398 or check out his webpage http://allwomenstalk.com/p/58034af4f725a97d108b4569. contact him today on covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com now.
. I will keep on sharing the good news about this. Thanks Dr.
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Princess Hanna is a very genuine spell caster and a very unique and a powerful woman of wisdom Email her now for any urgent love spell done Princesshannaspell@yahoo.com

Hey guys, I'm so excited of getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman. After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Princess Hanna can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted her and she told me what to do and i did it then she did a (Love spell) for me. 48 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Princess Hanna. She is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Princess Hanna is real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved or your wife to another woman or man, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now.

Here is her contact: Email her at: Princesshannaspell@yahoo.com
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Return Lost Love Spells That Really Work
“LOVE, Happiness, Care is the key fo LIFE”. That was the word from Dr happy when I consulted his powerful Love Spell. I married the wrong man; I realized that after Three years of our unfruitful marriage. Everything was going from Best to Worst in our life, no child, I got demoted from work after our marriage, my husband was sacked a year after. His application for new job in various offices was constantly declined even though he was qualified enough. I was made to take care of my family with the low income I earn get that wasn’t enough to pay our rent. We keep praying a seeking for help from some people, my friends laugh at me behind because I was advised not to get married yet.It was one Thursday night that my husband woke me up and told me that has thought enough about our crisis, he said that our crisis is not ordinary and it’s beyond our spiritual level. He suggested we should consult Dr happy from testimonies he showed me online about how he has been helping families. I was afraid, I don’t like evil or spell but I supported him to contact him if he can help us. We consulted him via happylovespell2@gmail.com  and he replied positively after 20munites with congratulating email that he can help us but he will need our pure heart and trusts in his work if he will cast the spell on us and purify our life. We agreed to his terms. He cast the spell and told us to expect results within 5days. I waited for three days nothing happened, so I started having doubt and blaming my husband for emailing Dr happy. It was on the fifth day that my husband was called for an interview and he got a well-paying work, I was prompted to a higher position. I missed my period on the 5th day and it was confirmed that I am with a baby. Things have really changed for us for good and we now have our own house and cars. I will never forget what Dr happy told us “LOVE is the key fo LIFE”, this word keep me going. People that laughed at us are coming close for help and I am delighted to welcome them because my family is now blessed. Dr happy is a savior and man that keep to his word even when I doubted his powers at the end of the spell. Thank to your Oracle for helping us plz contact him http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/ for more details email.....happylovespell2@gmail.com or add him on whats-app +2348133873774
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My world was falling apart. My mind, for some reason, wont let go of the memory of My Wife. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago, that lead to her leaving me. All efforts to get her back proved abortive. one day while going through the internet i saw so many testimony of this great man called Dr.Goodluck and how he helped people with all kinds of problem, his advert was everywhere,. Although I never believed in spell casting, but I had no choice than to give him a try so i contacted Him, I was so desperate to have my wife back with me once again. So I did all he told me to do. He told me that my wife will come back to me in the next 17hours after the spell is completed. I was skeptical. He casted the spell for me and i was so anxious waiting to see or hear from her, it was just 14hours after the spell was done my wife called and said she was coming HOME and she was asking for forgiveness for her ever hurting me before…..It was a dream come through for me!!! that was how my family and relationship was save and our relationship is now stronger than ever.my advice to you out there facing same problem or even worst then mine cry no more and contact this great man called Dr Goodluck He is capable of handling any kind of problem.
Contact him with his Email him at: goodluck05spellcaster@gmail.com
Call or Whats-app him: +2348138654465
website http://drgoodluck.simplesite.com or http://lovespelltogetyourexback.weebly.com
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How i get my ex girfriend back: Email Dr Trust for urgent love spell Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com

Am Travis Bob Jason from United State, I really appreciate what Dr. Trust has done in my life by bringing back my girlfriend to me after all we pass through i was not having it on mind that my girlfriend will come back to me again because of the situation and little misunderstanding we had, so i was thinking of what to do cause i was very confuse,so one day i was checking something on internet when i met a comment of testimony on the site how a great man called Dr. Trust help her and solve all her problem, it was amazing and i was thinking if this is real, i contacted the woman who posted it and i ask her about the man so she told me everything about the great man, that the man is very powerful and also he is a generous person, so i said let me give a try, really i contacted the great man and i told him everything that happened, he just laughed and told me not to worry anymore, and he did everything i told him to do for me, so after two day later i saw Vivian my girlfriend coming in front of me crying and begging me to forgive her, so i was very exacted we are now together and we are going to celebrate the Christmas and New year together in California, i said now, i believe that everybody are not the same this man called Dr. Trust is really powerful, thank you very much sir,contact him through his email.

Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com OR Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com

WhatApp him or call +2348156885231
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Princess Hanna is a very genuine spell caster and a very unique and a powerful woman of wisdom Email her now for any urgent love spell done Princesshannaspell@yahoo.com
I am out here to speed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex Husband back.. I was separate with my husband for the pass 6 year now and I wasn’t satisfied i needed to get my husband back because the life of loneliness was so terrible for me and my 3 kids I searched about some possible spell caster that can bring back my Husband and i then come across Princess Hanna i saw a comment about Princess Hanna how her bring lovers together with his spell caster I contacted her and her guided me. I asked for solutions, he started the remedy for my spell he ask for some information which i sent to her and also told me that we need to buy some items for the spell to work for me for good and which i sensed the money to her after 48 hours my husband call me and start bagging me for forgiveness for all that happens i am so happy right now that we back again as one family if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved or your wife to another woman or man, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. for any one that may need the help of the great spell caster you can contact
Here is her contact: Email her at: Princesshannaspell@yahoo.com
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I want to use this medium to thank Dr UZOYA for helping me to get back my lover after she left me and the kids for 5 months to suffer.When she left,she told me that she don't love me again and she has found another man which she loved.I cry everyday because i love her so much and i decide to go the net for help when i saw a lady called corny post of how Dr UZOYA help her to get her husband back who divorced her and i just say to myself let me give this Dr UZOYA a try and indeed he is wonderful he help me to get my lover back within 2days and my lover return to me and promise to love me forever and beg me for the pain she cost me. I will forever be grateful to you Dr UZOYA, and i will not stop to publish your name on the Internet for people to see because you are so great.You can email him at;  driraborspellcaster@gmail.com OR call his telephone number on +1(301) 909 8775 and he will also save your marriage.
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How To Get Back With Your Ex, Get A Fast Love Spell, A Real Spell Caster To Be Trusted And To Help You Is Dr happy The Man God Has Sent To Help Us Hi, my bf broke up last week , and I regret it cuz I’ve wasted all his love , we work on a same company together , and he’s ignoring me , I didn’t do anything after out break up , damn I hate my pride , and now I regret all the days I’ve wasted , I’m still texting him everyday , like once/day , like goodmorning.. take care.. or did u take ur lunch , later on I receive a message from him saying that please stop texting me , don’t pretend u care cuz I really don’t care, get ur own life , and I said I’m not pretending and this is how I really feel and I said I’m sorry , and he says stop it , it’s over ,what else should i do i really love this guy and i want to get back with him i have try every thing i could but it did not work out am heart broken and stress out coz this guy mean a lot to me. i pray and cry all day that he will fine a place in his heart to forgive me and come back to me. so i decided to look for help to see if i can get my bf back i try all means to the stage of applying for a love spell from different spell casters but no one could work out after sending money to them they keep telling me different stories, i was totally down about to give up coz i have spend so many money on him trying to see if i can get him back so i read and come across a site http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ with a wonderful testimony of a real spell caster call Dr happy i never believe coz i have try so many spell casters i said to my self let me give to the last try i email Dr happy urgently on happylovespell2@gmail.com explain my problem to him do what he ask of me even when i have to borrow up some money he ask i did and he give me reassurance that with 27 hours after the spell, my bf who left will come back for me , i still never believe i was doubting his judgement not knowing that he is the real man who god has sent to restored and bring back my bf. so as he promise, after the spell my bf reply back to my test messages, call me, and apology to me so the following day my bf come back home to me and since them we are living happily plz i will advise any one to contact Dr happy for a love spell to get ex back and save broken marriage, restored relationship problem so email him now at happylovespell2@gmail.com also call and add him up on whats-app +2348133873774
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With great respect and honor to a real spell caster Dr Obasi who restored back my husband after a fight with him i contact him for a love spell and he cast it for me with-in the rang of 48 hours, and my husband was back home all thanks to him please my advise is for you all who have the same problem to contact him via obasispelltemple@gmail.com or call +2348145643630
Best Regards
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My names are Robert Jason want to testify about this great love spell caster that helped me bring back my ex wife. My ex wife and i where having a misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg her several times to please forgive and accept me back because i know i offended her but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell and i felt so empty inside me, my loneliness became worst, until this faithful day i was browsing through the internet i saw a testimony on the internet testifying of Dr Raypower good work, i contacted him which he assured me within 48 hours for an instant result. Just same 48 hours as he promised my wife now came back home begging for forgiveness to love and cherish her and the kids forever, am so happy and thankful to Dr Raypower,,, My wife is madly in love with me again. If there is any body Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr. Raypower below

Email: urgentspellcast@gmail.com
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HELLO:
my name is Joel Sandra from Canada, i want to testify to the general public on how my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of Dr,UZOYA After three months of loneliness, my ex-lover called me after my contact with Dr,UZOYA that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily married with a kid. All thanks to Dr,UZOYA for his spiritual help. You can contact him on his email if you have similar problem, or any solution you may need, job, divorce, promotion in you place of work, healing,money spell, etc.you can Contact him via email;  driraborspellcaster@gmail.com  OR you can also reach him directly on his cell phone number +13019098775
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