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Family jokes

  
Requested in Relationships & Family by MC Hacker
edited by MC Hacker

10 Jokes

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One day a boy asked his grandfather to make a frog sound. "Why?" the grandfather asked. The boy explained "grandma says when you croak we are going to Hawaii."
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A man was sitting in the living room discussing his "living will" with his wife. He told her "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and receiving fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
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A teenage son asks to borrow 20 dollars from his father. His father says "don't you realize there are more important things in life than money?" "Yes," his son replied "but you need money to take them to the movies."
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The father says to the mother "don't you think our son gets his brains from me?" The mother replies "probably, dear, I still have all of mine."
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Patient: I'm thinking of getting a vasectomy.
Doctor: That's a big decision. Did you discuss it with the wife and kids?
Patient: Yes. They're in favor of it 18 to 2.
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"My family is temperamental... half temper, half mental."
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Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
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How do you make antifreeze?
Steal her blanket.
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Our family is so ugly we keep the negatives in the photograph album.
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