Roadkill T-Shirts
You are a pill babe

Fake Magnetic Bumper Stickers
Facebook Thumbs Down2,901,438 people dislike this

Fake Parking Tickets
Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go

Smartass Shirts

Jack Bauer jokes

  
Requested in Misc. Themes by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker

52 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
What were Jack Bauer's first words as a baby?
"There's no time!"
1 like 0 dislike
Donald Trump is Jack Bauer's apprentice.
1 like 0 dislike
When Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead the dog actually died.
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by If Then
edited by MC Hacker
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike
Two of Jack Bauer's wrongs DO make a right... Too bad he's never wrong.
0 like 0 dislike
How does Jack Bauer pick up women?
He tells them "you've read my file. You know what I am capable of."
0 like 0 dislike
The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads "What Would Jack Bauer Do?"
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is sorry for your loss but he needs to focus on the primary objective now.
0 like 0 dislike
When Jack Bauer goes to Hooters he orders the waitress for dessert.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer didn't use heroin because he had to. He took heroin because saving the world sober was just getting too easy.
0 like 0 dislike
If you're riding in a car with Jack Bauer never yell shotgun.
0 like 0 dislike
The last man on Earth will be Jack Bauer... only because he ran out of people to kill.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is the only guy who can get away with killing his girlfriend's ex-husband and still have her fall for him.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
0 like 0 dislike
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who fear Jack Bauer and those who are Jack Bauer.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
When the President presses the big "Easy" button on his desk Jack Bauer's phone rings.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer tortured his mother when he was a kid to find the location of his Christmas presents.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't care for names. Every entry in his address book is just labeled "Son of a Bitch."
0 like 0 dislike
Kobe would pass to Jack Bauer.
0 like 0 dislike
What were Jack Bauer's first words after the doctor slapped him as a baby?
"Son of a Bitch!"
0 like 0 dislike
Why was Jack Bauer born the same day he was conceived?
Jack Bauer never takes more than an hour to get out of the hole.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jeeves asks Jack Bauer.
0 like 0 dislike
Mimes tell Jack Bauer who they work for.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't have to blow in his old Nintendo cartridges to make them work.
0 like 0 dislike
It only took 3 minutes for Jack Bauer to figure out Victoria's secret.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Every page of Jack Bauer's day planner reads "Save the World Again."
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
The Hulk wouldn't like Jack Bauer when he's angry.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Geico just saved a bunch of money on their car insurance by switching to Jack Bauer!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer could go see Brokeback Mountain and no one would look at him funny.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer makes emo kids smile.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer were gay a lot more women would be getting sex changes.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer has more lives than Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Start.
0 like 0 dislike
Nobody says "hit me" when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer can actually listen to his girlfriend talk.
0 like 0 dislike
Someone once tried to tell Jack Bauer a "Knock Knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamn bomb was!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off security gives him a gun.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
There's no such thing as lesbians - just women who have never met Jack Bauer.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer made Helen Keller talk.
0 like 0 dislike
Why did Jack Bauer name his cat "Chuck Norris?"
Because he's a pussy.
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer was gay his name would be Chuck Norris!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is the only government employee with the 24 hours on and 2 years off work schedule.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by NumeroOcho
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won...
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
I GIVE YOU MY WORD THAT THIS IS A FUNNY JOKE
Shared by a contributor

Your joke

Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.
Jokes contributed may be rewritten, recategorized, removed, and/or reordered for any reason. Deal with it.

Related jokes

34 jokes
Requested in Misc. Themes by MC Hacker
When Chuck Norris jumps in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet....
6 jokes
Requested in Adult & Dirty by NumeroOcho
Sex can bet Chuck Norris
29 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by Argo
G.I. Joe has Chuck Norris action figures.
0 jokes
Requested in Entertainment & Arts by a contributor
2 jokes
Requested in Entertainment & Arts by a contributor
Homer: "The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a...