Roadkill T-Shirts
You are a pill babe

Fake Magnetic Bumper Stickers
Facebook Thumbs Down2,901,438 people dislike this

Fake Parking Tickets
Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go

Smartass Shirts

Jack Bauer jokes

  
Requested in Misc. Themes by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker

54 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
What were Jack Bauer's first words as a baby?
"There's no time!"
1 like 0 dislike
Donald Trump is Jack Bauer's apprentice.
1 like 0 dislike
When Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead the dog actually died.
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by If Then
edited by MC Hacker
1 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike
Two of Jack Bauer's wrongs DO make a right... Too bad he's never wrong.
0 like 0 dislike
How does Jack Bauer pick up women?
He tells them "you've read my file. You know what I am capable of."
0 like 0 dislike
The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads "What Would Jack Bauer Do?"
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is sorry for your loss but he needs to focus on the primary objective now.
0 like 0 dislike
When Jack Bauer goes to Hooters he orders the waitress for dessert.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer didn't use heroin because he had to. He took heroin because saving the world sober was just getting too easy.
0 like 0 dislike
If you're riding in a car with Jack Bauer never yell shotgun.
0 like 0 dislike
The last man on Earth will be Jack Bauer... only because he ran out of people to kill.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is the only guy who can get away with killing his girlfriend's ex-husband and still have her fall for him.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
0 like 0 dislike
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who fear Jack Bauer and those who are Jack Bauer.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
When the President presses the big "Easy" button on his desk Jack Bauer's phone rings.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer tortured his mother when he was a kid to find the location of his Christmas presents.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't care for names. Every entry in his address book is just labeled "Son of a Bitch."
0 like 0 dislike
Kobe would pass to Jack Bauer.
0 like 0 dislike
What were Jack Bauer's first words after the doctor slapped him as a baby?
"Son of a Bitch!"
0 like 0 dislike
Why was Jack Bauer born the same day he was conceived?
Jack Bauer never takes more than an hour to get out of the hole.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jeeves asks Jack Bauer.
0 like 0 dislike
Mimes tell Jack Bauer who they work for.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer doesn't have to blow in his old Nintendo cartridges to make them work.
0 like 0 dislike
It only took 3 minutes for Jack Bauer to figure out Victoria's secret.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Every page of Jack Bauer's day planner reads "Save the World Again."
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
The Hulk wouldn't like Jack Bauer when he's angry.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Geico just saved a bunch of money on their car insurance by switching to Jack Bauer!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer could go see Brokeback Mountain and no one would look at him funny.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer makes emo kids smile.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer were gay a lot more women would be getting sex changes.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer has more lives than Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Start.
0 like 0 dislike
Nobody says "hit me" when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer can actually listen to his girlfriend talk.
0 like 0 dislike
Someone once tried to tell Jack Bauer a "Knock Knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamn bomb was!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off security gives him a gun.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
There's no such thing as lesbians - just women who have never met Jack Bauer.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer made Helen Keller talk.
0 like 0 dislike
Why did Jack Bauer name his cat "Chuck Norris?"
Because he's a pussy.
0 like 0 dislike
If Jack Bauer was gay his name would be Chuck Norris!
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer is the only government employee with the 24 hours on and 2 years off work schedule.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by NumeroOcho
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike

Shared by K OS
edited by MC Hacker
0 like 0 dislike
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won...
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
I GIVE YOU MY WORD THAT THIS IS A FUNNY JOKE
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
is it a lobster
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
MARVELSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM IS A GENIUS AND GOD SENT FOR REAL.
I am 32 years old Father of two kids. This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever seen.. I visited a forum here on the internet after i had an argument with my wife and my marriage of 7 years was broken down and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all means to get back my wife after much pleading and did everything possible to make sure that she comes back, but nothing worked out and I have thought of suicide at times.... i saw a marvelous testimony of this powerful and great spell caster called Dr MUNA on the forum.. And i read how He reunited a family and brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 24 hours..I never believed it, because i never heard nor learnt anything about magic before.. Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, until Dr MUNA did it for me and restored my marriage back and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my WIFE came to my house and knelt down begging for forgiveness, for me to accept her back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation Dr MUNA is certainly a God sent to me and my family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in 24 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get back my wife. Right this moment my wife has falling so much in love with me and my kids like never before. This spell casting isn't brain washing but opened up her eyes to see how much i love and wanted her, i really don't know how best to be grateful for bringing happiness into my life and family, and now i am a joyful man once again. You can get back your spouse too Contact DR MUNA now...  marvelspelltemple@gmail.com Whatsapp number +2348071660388

Your joke

Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.
Jokes contributed may be rewritten, recategorized, removed, and/or reordered for any reason. Deal with it.

Related jokes

34 jokes
Requested in Misc. Themes by MC Hacker
When Chuck Norris jumps in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet....
6 jokes
Requested in Adult & Dirty by NumeroOcho
Sex can bet Chuck Norris
29 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by Argo
G.I. Joe has Chuck Norris action figures.
0 jokes
Requested in Entertainment & Arts by a contributor
4 jokes
Requested in Entertainment & Arts by a contributor
MARVELSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM IS A GENIUS AND GOD SENT FOR REAL. I...