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Jesus jokes

  

25 Jokes

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Why didn't Jesus get into MIT?
Because he got nailed on his boards.
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You might be a redneck if you think lacrosse is the French word for Jesus.
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Jesus walked up to the owner of the inn, showed him 3 nails and asked "can you put me up for the night?"
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What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
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Jesus went out once and didn't get back up 'til Monday. Must've been a Good Friday!
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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
Because he has holes in his hands!
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Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards!
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Jesus died for our sins.
Let's not disappoint him!
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Why wasn't Jesus born in LA?
They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
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If man were meant to use the metric system Jesus would have had 10 disciples.
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Bumper sticker: Jesus is coming, everyone look busy!
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Jesus loves you but I'm his favorite!
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Jesus saves. But wouldn't it have been better if he had invested?
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Why did Jesus Christ cross the road?
Because he was nailed to the chicken!
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Proof that Jesus was black:
1. He called everybody brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
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Proof that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
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Proof that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.
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Proof that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.
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Proof that Jesus was Puerto Rican:
1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was bilingual.
3. His mother wasn't married to his father.
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Proof that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. His last request was a drink.
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