Fake Parking Tickets
Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go

Smartass Shirts

Jokes for Kids

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by JustMe
edited by MC Hacker

29 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well, you did say it was my lunch money!
1 like 0 dislike
Who won the race between the two balls of string?
Neither. They were tied!
1 like 0 dislike
Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks.
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants!
1 like 0 dislike
How do you stop elephants from charging?
Take away their credit cards.
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
What did the rug say to the floor?
"Don't move. I've got you covered."
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage!
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Shared by a contributor
1 like 0 dislike
Who forced Luke Skywalker to pay his bill at the restaurant?
Darth Waiter
1 like 0 dislike
What do you eat when you're stuck in traffic?
Traffic jam
1 like 0 dislike
A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato were in a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to ketchup.
1 like 0 dislike
What did one tube of glue say to the other?
We have to stick together!
0 like 0 dislike
A dad says to his son "don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time." The son responds "but I do dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!"
0 like 0 dislike
Girl: A monster's bitten off my foot mom!
Mother: Then keep out of the kitchen. I just washed the floor.
0 like 0 dislike
What did the 1st stoplight say to the 2nd stoplight?
Don't look - I'm changing!
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What part of a car is the laziest?
The wheels. They're always tired.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What happened when the boy dropped his ice cream in the pool?
He made an ice cream float.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships
0 like 0 dislike
Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The out side!
0 like 0 dislike
What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me something smells.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
Neither, they both weigh a ton!
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
Why did the girl bury her flashlight?
Because the batteries died.
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What runs but can't walk?
A faucet
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
How do you cut the sea in two?
With a seasaw
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike
What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called a toe truck.
0 like 0 dislike
What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants
Shared by a contributor
0 like 0 dislike

Your joke

Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.
Jokes contributed may be rewritten, recategorized, removed, and/or reordered for any reason. Deal with it.

Related jokes

16 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by JustMe
Knock knock Who's there? Thermos Thermos who? Thermos be a better...
10 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
Yo mama so fat she sat on a penny and a booger came out of...
3 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet
4 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by JustMe
Mother: Never, never take candy from strangers. Johnny: You're...
19 jokes
Requested in Childrens & Clean by Argo
Knock knock Who's there? Lionel Lionel who? Lionel get you nowhere...