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Lesbian jokes

  
Requested in Adult & Dirty by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

26 Jokes

3 like 0 dislike
Why does Tiger Woods want to be reborn a lesbian when he dies?
He can still have sex with women and he gets to play off the red tees!
2 like 0 dislike
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in and the other two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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2 like 0 dislike
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on
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Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
They're made by Dike. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
1 like 0 dislike
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A lickalotopuss
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"I'll see you next month."
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What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A waste!
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What do you call 3 lesbians having sex?
A menage a twat
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What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar
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What did the 2 lesbian frogs say to each other?
"We do taste like chicken!"
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How many screws are in a lesbian's bed?
None. It's all tongue and groove!
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1 like 0 dislike
What does a lesbian bring on a 2nd date?
Everything she owns!
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1 like 0 dislike
Why do lesbians like to have gay male friends?
Someone has to do the cooking!
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Why are lesbians faster than gays?
Because a lesbian can go lickety split, while gays have to pack theirs.
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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do it and one to make a video documentary about it!
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How many many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to put it in and one to write a folk song about it.
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What do you call 1,000 heavily-armed lesbians?
Militia Etheridge
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Is it possible to be more confused than a blind lesbian at a fish market?
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Why are all lesbians vegetarian?
Because they don't eat meat.
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"The lesbians next door asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was surprised when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them but I think they misunderstood me. I said 'I wanna watch.'"
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A blonde man walks into a bar and spots a woman. He asks the bartender who she is. "Oooh, dude, she's a lesbian." He still walks over to the girl and says "hi, so what part of Lesbos are you from?"
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What do you call a lesbian with long nails?
Single
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What do you call a fat lesbian?
A bush hog.
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What do you call a bunch of lesbians in a closet? A liquor cabinet..
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What kind of license do lesbians get when they get married? A liquor license.
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How do you know you have walked into a lesbian bar?
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.
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