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Parenting jokes

  
Requested in Relationships & Family by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

13 Jokes

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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $139 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize you car is missing.
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Your parents might be ashamed of you if they go to your school's parent-teacher conference under assumed names.
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How do you know your child is growing up?
It stops asking where it came from and refuses to tell you where it's going.
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What is an adolescent?
Someone who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult.
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3 ways to get things done:

- Do it yourself
- Hire someone to do it
- Tell your kids not to do it
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"My kids have a problem with bias. Buy us this, buy us that..."
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What is the average income of a teenager?
About 2 a.m.
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"You can't scare me, I have children."
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Judge: This court has deemed you to be an unfit mother.
Defendant: That is ridiculous. I have the body of a woman half my age!
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You spend the first 2 years teaching your kids to walk and talk and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up!
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Hello every body my name is Synder Anderson I just want to share my experience with the world on how Lord Alika help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3 years with 1 kid and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and argued almost e very time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try  reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used his power… Within 4 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional pains he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily and our kid is happy too and we are expecting our second child… and my Husband also got a new job and our lives became much better  web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http  I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news..contact him on lordalikaspelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or +13217666393.  web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http

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