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Penis jokes

  
Requested in Health & Beauty by Argo
edited by MC Hacker

21 Jokes

7 like 0 dislike
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password. The husband puts "Mypenis" and the wife hits the ground laughing when it says "Error - Not long enough."
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5 like 0 dislike
Husband to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts so I can always look at them.
Wife: Let me take a picture of your penis. I'll have it enlarged!
4 like 0 dislike
An apple, a banana and a penis were discussing their lives one night.

The apple tells the others "I have the worst life ever. People take a bite out of me and then throw me on the ground."

The banana chimes in "I'll do you one better. People take my clothes off, eat my insides and then leave my clothes on the floor!"

The penis laughs and says "you guys have it easy. Try having people stick you in dark, wet caves, put bags over your head, massage you for hours and make you do push-ups until you throw up!"
3 like 0 dislike
Why is the life of a penis terrible?
His best friend is a pussy, his neighbors are two nuts and an asshole, and his owner beats him every day. Not to mention he throws up every time he gets too excited.
2 like 0 dislike
What is the most insensitive part of the penis?
The man
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1 like 0 dislike
What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets!
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1 like 0 dislike
Why is life like a penis?
Women make it hard.
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1 like 0 dislike
What's the best thing to come out of a penis?
The wrinkles
1 like 0 dislike
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A dictator!
1 like 0 dislike
What is the difference between a lollipop and a penis?
If you lick a lollipop it gets smaller. But if you lick a penis it gets bigger.
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1 like 0 dislike
1 like 0 dislike
What's the difference between a hot dog and a penis?

The special sauce goes on the hot dog before it goes into anyone's mouth.
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0 like 0 dislike
What did one testicle say to the other?
"Why do we have to hang when slim up there did the shooting?"
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0 like 0 dislike
The difference between a stick-up and a hold-up is age.
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What is the difference between medium and rare?
6 inches is medium. 8 inches is rare.
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0 like 0 dislike
A nude jogger was running past 2 old ladies. One had a stroke... the other missed!
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0 like 0 dislike
How are penises like fishing?
The small ones you throw back, the medium ones you eat, and the large ones you mount.
0 like 0 dislike
Teacher: Why are you rubbing oil on your head in class?
Student: I heard my dad last night saying to rub oil on the head if it doesn't go in!
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0 like 0 dislike
There was a young pervert from Zea
Who said, "Alas, I can't pee!"
When I hear those boys piss
With such a great hiss
My cock gets as hard as a knee."
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What does your bedroom and the titanic have In common
The both are full of seamen
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i have no jokes
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