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Pun jokes

  
Requested in Misc. Themes by Laary
edited by MC Hacker

33 Jokes

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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
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I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
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What would happen if you cut off your left side?
You would be all right.
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
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We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
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PMS jokes aren't funny; period...
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When you get a bladder infection. urine trouble.
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I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
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"Do not worry about old age; it does not last"
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Velcro - what a rip off!
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All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
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I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
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Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
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When chemists die, they barium.
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Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
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A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
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Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
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How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
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England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
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They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
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I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop any time.
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Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
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I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
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A good pun is its own reword.
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"There's no way I'm drowning in an African river!" Tom said in denial.
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"My B.A. is in social work," George said with a degree of concern.
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"This stuffed animal is very deer to me."
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"Eating uranium makes me feel funny," Tom said glowingly.
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(1)the hen went on a date with the cock and the hen was chicken him out.
(2)the first fear i ever had was acrophobia when i came to high school.
(3)did u hear about the 4 that goes on? it is 4 ever going.
(4)did u see the world's largest egg? i did not think it eggsisted.
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