Fake Parking Tickets
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Short Clean jokes

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

25 Jokes

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream
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Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up a pair of pants.
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Woman: So you're saying you're ambivalent?
Man: Well, yes and no.
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Am I ignorant or apathetic? I don't know and don't care!
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Can you repeat the part after "listen very carefully?"
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I never made a mistake. I thought I did once but I was wrong...
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"As I said before, I never repeat myself!"
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You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
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Did you hear about the man who awarded the medal for modesty?
It was taken away when they saw him wearing it.
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Money is the root of all wealth.
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When does a cart come before a horse?
In the dictionary
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What disappears when you stand up?
Your lap
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If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?
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"Which state were you born in?"
"The nude."
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What can you hold without ever touching it?
Conversation
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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Where do you find giant snails?
On the ends of giant's fingers.
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Of course something you lose is always going to turn up in the last place you look. Are you going to keep looking for it after you've found it?
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Nancy: Where are you?
George: I'm in a phone booth at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
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Look out for #1 but don't step in #2 either...
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I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few!
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"I'm proud of my modesty."
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What did the number 0 say to the 8?
"I like your belt."
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How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

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