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Ugly jokes

  
Requested in Health & Beauty by a contributor
edited by MC Hacker

10 Jokes

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How do you know you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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"Buy me another beer. You're still ugly."
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Wife: I'm trying to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat.
Husband: Just cut off your head!
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You're dark and handsome... When it's dark you're handsome!
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"How could two people as beautiful as you two have such an ugly baby?"
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"I was an ugly baby. My mother never breast-fed me because she only liked me as a friend."
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Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.
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Teacher: That child with the short hair and blue jeans. Is that a boy or a girl?
Parent: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
Teacher: I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't know you were her father.
Parent: I'm not. I'm her mother!
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"The problem is the camera always catches you on your worst side... the outside!"
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"You look like you just stepped out of a beauty shop... and fell flat on your face!"

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